My new Blog

http://ashdla.livejournal.com/
thats the address for my new blog all. check there for any further updates form me ^.^

Stuff

hey everyone. sorry i havent been updating this. theres so much going on right now... i don't know where to start. well, im going into my last semester of high school. it is so sad i cant even begin to describe how it feels. i dont want to leave my childhood behind. and i dont want to leave any of my friends either. its very hard. i had my last english class ever yesterday. i cant understand why people skip class on their last days. i mean... its your LAST day. ever.
well, i guess its a bit harder for me because im leaveing my family as well. Adam says we might get an apartment with our friend Josh. it could be great fun i think. but im still very sad and conflicted. im just... finding it hard to figure out where i fit in this whole mess of stuff.
theres so much happening at once. so many things to decide that could determine the rest of my life that its very scary. i dont feel ready to make those decisions yet. not at all. but somehow im supposed to.
im just glad i have my friends, or else i dont think i could do this. but that thought makes me sad all over again, because after this semester... i wont. and its really aweful.
anyway, ive been babbling. bai for now...

My sin X

ok so, for Evan, here is my sin X

Geocide Poem

hey all, i found this poem online ans thought it was interesting...

First they came for the Jews
and I did not speak out — because I was not a Jew.

Then they came for the communists
and I did not speak out — because I was not a communist.

Then they came for the trade unionists
and I did not speak out — because I was not a trade unionist.

Then they came for me —
and by then there was no one left to speak out for me.

Another Good Song

hey again everyone, i know you all must be tired of me posting songs by now. actually the reality is probablly that nobody actually reads this anymore. but oh well, it feeds my ego to think people care. anyways, heres another Eva song. it is what i would very much like to happen in my future...

Anywhere

Dear my love, haven't you wanted to be with me
And dear my love, haven't you longed to be free
I can't keep pretending that I don't even know you
And at sweet night, you are my own
Take my hand

We're leaving here tonight
There's no need to tell anyone
They'd only hold us down
So by the morning light
We'll be half way to anywhere
Where love is more than just your name

I have dreamt of a place for you and I
No one knows who we are there
All I want is to give my life only to you
I've dreamt so long I cannot dream anymore
Let's run away, I'll take you there

We're leaving here tonight
There's no need to tell anyone
They'd only hold us down
So by the mornings light
We'll be half way to anywhere
Where no one needs a reason

Forget this life
Come with me
Don't look back you're safe now
Unlock your heart
Drop your guard
No one's left to stop you

Forget this life
Come with me
Don't look back you're safe now
Unlock your heart
Drop your guard
No one's left to stop you now

We're leaving here tonight
There's no need to tell anyone
They'd only hold us down
So by the morning light
We'll be half way to anywhere
Where love is more than just your name

For Rachael...

I can’t imagine, any greater fear
Than waking up, without you here,
And though the sun, will still shine on,
My whole world, would all be gone,
But not for long,

If I had to run, if I had to crawl
If I had to swim a hundred rivers, just to climb a thousand walls,
Always know that I will find a way, to get to where you are,
There’s no place that far

It wouldn’t matter why we’re apart,
Lonely minds or two stubborn hearts
Nothing short of God above
Could turn me away from your love
I need you that much

If I had to run, if I had to crawl
If I had to swim a hundred rivers, just to climb a thousand walls,
Always know that I will find a way, to get to where you are,
There’s no place that far

If I had to run, if I had to crawl
If I had to swim a hundred rivers, just to climb a thousand walls,
Always know that I will find a way, to get to where you are,
There’s no place that far

Baby there’s no place that far

Songs About Me

hey again all. i thought i'd post these two songs by evanescence. they really discribe some of the things i am feeling very well. anyways, here is the first one,

Away From Me

I hold my breath as this life starts to take its toll
I hide behind a smile as this perfect plan unfolds
But oh, God, I feel I've been lied to
Lost all faith in the things I have achieved
And I

I've woken now to find myself
In the shadows of all I have created
I'm longing to be lost in you
(away from this place I have made)
Won't you take me away from me

Crawling through this world as disease flows through my veins
I look into myself, but my own heart has been changed
I can't go on like this
I loathe all I've become

I've woken now to find myself
In the shadows of all I have created
I'm longing to be lost in you
(away from this place I have made)
Won't you take me away from me

Lost in a dying world I reach for something more
I have grown so weary of this lie I live

I've woken now to find myself
In the shadows of all I have created
I'm longing to be lost in you
(away from this place I have made)
Won't you take me away from me

and the second one...

Feild Of Innocence

I still remember the world
From the eyes of a child
Slowly those feelings
Were clouded by what I know now

Where has my heart gone
An uneven trade for the real world
I want to go back to
Believing in everything and knowing nothing at all

I still remember the sun
Always warm on my back
Somehow it seems colder now

Where has my heart gone
Trapped in the eyes of a stranger
I want to go back to
Believing in everything

Iesu, Rex admirabilis
Et triumphator nobilis,
Dulcedo ineffabilis,
Totus desiderabilis.

Where has my heart gone
An uneven trade for the real world
I want to go back to
Believing in everything
Away

Where has my heart gone
Trapped in the eyes of a stranger
I want to go back to
Believing in everything

I still remember..